The Tarded Adventures of BK
by xXPeaceBabesXx
Summary: This is a crakfic YOUVE BEEN WARNED! it includes Emmett Cullen, Harry Potter, Winnie the Pooh, and us Katrina and brandi, also includes Danny Phantom. and most are on crak literally. One shots, made to be stupid and funny
1. Crack'n'at part one

The Tarded Adventures of BK

Part one of Crack'n'at

This is supposed to be funny and stupid, so Flames accepted.

Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight, Danny Phantom, Harry Potter, or Winnie the Pooh. But Katrina put Twilight on her wish list for x-mas, and I put Danny Phantom. Muahahahahahahahahaha

Brandi: Katrina.

Katrina: woooo!!

Brandi: Katrina listen to meh!

Katrina: I cant I gots a cookie in meh mouf!!!

Brandi: (Raises Eyebrow) Mouf?????

Katrina: yeah! its hard to talk with your mouth full!

Brandi: Katrina, what are you doing with that butcher knife? AHHHHHH KATRINA DONT KILL MEH!!! (breaks down crying)

Katrina: Brandi. im going to kill your obsession!

Brandi: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (Runs to shield Danny)

Danny: What the hell is going on here?

Brandi: Katrina is on a sugar high, she wants to kill you!!

Danny: No! Don't hurt me!!!! (Cowers)

Katrina: mwahahahah! *Throws a chicken at Brandi's face* haha!

Brandi&Danny: WTF Katrina!

Katrina: IM AM GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Emmett: WFT! Katrina were you eating m&m cookies again?!?

Katrina: Maaybee. *Innocent face*

Brandi: (With flame thrower) For trying to Killing Danny, I will torch Emmett!!!!

Katrina: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! You do and i will kill both you AND Danny. and then throw myself off a cliff like dumbass Bella. Emmett, run!!!

Emmett: *already gone* I will come back for you my love!

Brandi: J.K J.K. (Puts Flamethrower Down and then picks up a bottle of rum) Woooooooo!!

Danny: Ah crap, Goin' Ghost! ( Danny becomes Phantom) I will save you later. Sorry. (Flies off)

Katrina: Yeah! Now it's a party! Emmett!

Emmett: yeah?

Katrina: Break out the crack!

Emmett: *gets crack and lights up*

Katrina: WOOOOOOOO!!!!!! LETS GET HIGH, LETS GET HIGH! *singing to lets get loud*

Brandi: Danny! Theys gots the crack! Join us and bring Sam and Tucker this time

Tucker: Crack? (sniffs) WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Sam: Fun stuffs, yeah.

Danny: BEER IS GOOD, BEER IS GOOD, BEER IS GOOD, AND STUFF! (sings to Beer! By Psycostick)

Brandi: YEEEEAAAAAAHHH, go Danny.

Katrina: Emmett! Get ready for meh theme song!

Katrina&Emmett: IM ON A BOAT, IM ON A BOAT, EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME CAUSE IM SAILIN ON A BOAT!!!!!!

Emmett: YEAH!! We rox da hizzouse!! Give meh five gurl!

Katrina: *****slaps him in da face*

Emmett: HEYY! WFT!

Katrina: What? I just high fived your face.

Danny: Brandi?

Brandi: Yes Danny?

Danny: I loves you (Starts making out with Brandi)

Sam: Danny!!! WTF, I loves you more!! (Tries to pull Danny off of Brandi)

Tucker: (whines) What about me!! I wants some love.

Sam: Ah Kay!! (Kisses Tucker)

Harry Potter: *walk into da room along wit Winnie da pooh*

Katrina: WTF!! Its that weirdo nerd kid! And that teddy bear that looks like someone pissed on it!

Emmett: Katrina that's not just any pissed on teddy bear its… Winnie the Pooh! But his name should be Winnie the Piss


	2. Crack'n'at parte dos

Crack'n'at parte dos

Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, yet. And Katrina doesn't own Twilight. And before any lawyers sue us, we don't own Harry Potter, Winnie the Pooh, Guitar Hero, or anyone on the Pittsburgh Penguins. But we do own the pretzel pimps and the gay guys.

Flames accepted, just something to do on a school night.

Katrina: *screaming* IM DA PIMP!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Brandi: Whoa, what happened I have a serious hangover. (Holds head)

Danny: Yeah, what went on here?

Katrina: I tells you wat happened last night! Well I almost killed Danny and Brandi then brnadi threatened to kill Emmett and I gots pissed then we got high oh and Brandi you pulled a bottle of rum out of your pants and then we started singing and Harry potter came with Winnie the pooh which his name is now Winnie the piss. Oh yeah and brnadi and Danny made out!

Brandi & Danny: (Blushes) What!!!!!!!!

Katrina: And Sam and Tucker made out, and my high nickname is now ktanina. Emmett, I'm lonely, come bak here!

Emmett: I'm back wit you babe.

Katrina: I missed you! Don't leaves me eva again!

Gay Guys: *They enter with a bucket of Pretzel Nuggets*

Calvin Gay#1: Heyo I'm Calvin, and this is Bobbi, Nicki, Gavin, and Bradley.

Bobbi: Hey, I'm Bobbi.

Nicki: I'm like Nicki.

Gavin: I am the Demon, Gavin.

Bradley: I'm Bradley; I like to annoy the crap outa peeps.

Sam: I think gays are AWESOME. Hehe.

Katrina: NO, YOU THINK THAT THEY ARE HORRID, I THINK THEY ARE AWESOME!!!!!

Tucker: Sam, Katrina you are hot when you fight.

Danny: Are you three still high?

Sam & Katrina & Tucker: Maaaayyyybbbeeee!!!!

Emmett: Quick! Get them on Detox! But Katrina, you are so sweet.

Katrina: DON'T TALK TO MEH, I LOVE BOBBI.

Bobbi: Oh no, I am now going to slit my wrists, and claim my gay hood.

Katrina: NO, YOU ARE GOING TO BE STRAIGHT AND LIKE IT!!!!!!

Harry Potter: Oh yeah baby, I love the Americans when they are high.

Herminie: Oh no you don't, you are coming back with me to Hogwarts.

Harry Potter: Fine!! (Stalks out with Herminie)

Katrina: Why do you HATE me sooooo much?

Emmett: I don't hate you baby.

Katrina: Yes you do, I am going to throw up now and become bulimic and emo.

Brandi: SHUT UP, Danny get the coffee, it is believed that coffee makes one sober.

Danny: Kay ( gets the coffee)

Katrina: NO THIS IS A TARDO CRAKFIC, YOU CANNOT TALK EDUMICATIONALD IN THIS THING, ALONG WIT THE GAY GUYS AND MY PRETZEL PIMPS. (Starts staring at the pretzel jug.) Why wont they talk to me? (Picks up a pretzel and stairs) Talk or I will eatcho face.

Sam: She has finally went off the deep end.

Emmett: SHE IS EFFIN HIGH, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT.

Danny: Sam you aren't high anymore!

Sam: I have never been high, I was kidding.

Tucker: So you really wanted to Kiss meh?

Sam: Of course not, I just wanted to piss off the readers. (A/N: Hahahahahaha thought I was crazy huh?)

Emmett: Wha- why would you want to do that!

Sam: (Giving Emmett a hug) 'cause its fun.

Katrina: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!

Gavin: Hey dude, chillax will ya?

Bobbi: Really Kat, do ya have to do dis?

Katrina: Emmett baby! i sorry!

Emmett: its ok hun.

Katrina: oh and sam?

Sam: yeah?

Katrina: you should runs nows

Sam: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (runs away to amity park)

Katrina: THAT'S RIGHT BITCH! AND DONT COME BACK!!!

Brandi: what was that. I'm going after her.

Danny: Wait! i'll come with you (Goes ghost and takes Brandi with him to Amity Park)

Sidney Crosby: *Walks in shirtless from a workout*

Calvin: OMG it's Crosby!!!!!!

Crosby: Hey guys, whats up?

Tucker: *drools* I just want to make out wit you.

Crosby: Okay. *Slides away from Tucker*

Katrina: Haha! Brandi doesn't gets to see Crosby!!!! *does a little dance*

Calvin: Katrina sweetie, why dont you go sit in that corner over there.

Katrina: Kay! *runs over to corner and sits down*

Crosby: Weeeellllllllll.........i feel kinda awkward now.

Katrina: *singing sorrow by flyleaf* sometimes life seems to quiet into paralyzing silence, like the moonless dark meant to make me strong. familiar breath of my old lies, change the color in my eyes. soon he will perferate the fabric of the peaceful by and by.

sorrow last, through this night, i'll take this peace of you and hope for all eternity. for just one secon i felt whole, as you flew right threw me. left alone with only reflections of the memories, to face the ugly girl that's smothering me.

standing closer than my pain, he knew each tear before it cmae. soon he will perferate the fabric of the peaceful by and by. sorrow last, throuh this night, i'll take this piece of you and hope for all eternity. for just one second i felt whole

as you flew right threw through me. and we kiss each other one more time, and sing this lie thats halfway mine. the sword is slicing throught the question so i won't be fooled by his angel light. sorrow last through this night, i'll take this piece of you

and hope for all eternity. for just second i felt whole, as you flew right through me, and up into the stars. JOY WILL COME!

Crosby: Well.... OK then. I think i'm gonna go. *leaves*

Emmett: Katrina babe, come here.

Katrina: *walks over to Emmett*

Emmett: Let's go sit down * sits on couch with Katrina, and snuggles"

Katrina: Emmett, I love you. Hey! Let's turn this partay into a muical!

Tucker: Ookaayy.

Kaytrina: Shut up Bi Guy. Emmett, you and i can start.

Emmett: OK.

Katrina: Ooooooo i cant go any further than this, ooooooooo i want you so badly it's my biggest wish.

Emmett: Cool, I spend my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you, every single day ,yes, im really missin missin you. and all those things we use to use to use to use to do, hey girl waz up it use to use to be just me and you

Bradley: *in really deep voice* I spend my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you, every single day ,yes, im really missin missin you. and all those things we use to use to use to use to do, hey girl waz up it use to use to be just me and you

Katrina: meet me halfway, right at the border line is where im gonna wait for you, i'll be lookin out, night 'n' day. took my heart to the limmit and this is where i stay. i cant go any further than this. i want you so bad its my only wish.

Emmett: girl, i travel round te world and evan sail the seven seas, across the universe and go to other galaxies. just tell me where to go, ust tell me where you wanna meet. i navigate myself myself to take me where you be. cause girl i want i i i want you right now. i travel uptown town i travel downtown, i wanna have you around round like every single day, i love you alway way.

Katrina: Can you meet me half-

Tucker: SHUT UP!

Katrina: FINE! *starts sobbing*

Emmett: Shhh..it's ookay Tucker's just a mean bi-sexual guy.

Katrina: * stops sobbing and looks up at Emmett*

Emmett&Katrina: *start making out*

*Brandi, Danny, and Sam come back from Amity Park*

Brandi: Dude! I did NOT need to see that!

Danny: Ditto.

Sam: *No Comment*

Katrina: You guys missed it, Sidney CROSBY was here and Tucker wanted to make out wit him.

Danny: Tucker! Are you Bi?

Brandi: Sidney Crosby was HERE!

Sam: I KISSED A BI GUY!!!!

Katrina: a MEAN bi guy.

Emmett: Katrina, you know it's not nice to make corrections.

Katrina: I DON"T CARE! LEAVE MEH ALONE!

Emmett: *Backs up* Sorry, i didn't mean to piss you off.

*Sidney Crosby comes back*

Sidney: I'm back, and i hope Tucker will stay away from-*looks over at brandi* Hey, what is someone like you doing here?

Brandi:*Blushes* I was kinda dragged here, and just read the previous chapter and you will understand.

Sidney: *Looks back to chapter 1* God! And why?

Brandi: Ask the authors, i wouldnt have done any of that.

Danny: Sorry to interrupt you guys, wait no i am not sorry.

Sidney: And you are?

Danny: I am Danny Fenton, and Danny Phantom. I have a long life career, And you will retire in your forties.

Sidney: Grits teeth* What was that punk?

Katrina: Dude! Danny just insulted you*Starts laughing*

*Sid and Danny start fighting*

Gavin: WOOOOO!!!! GO SID!

Bradley: SID! SID!

Katrina: I dont like Danny Phanturd, So SIDNEY CROSBY RULZ!!!!

Brandi:*Shocked look* What! I thought that you would always be supportive. Anyways GO DANNY!!!!

*Calvin, Gavin, Katrina, Bradley, Emmett are on Sidney Crosbys side*

*Brandi, Sam, Bobbi, Nicki, and Tucker are rooting for Danny Fenton/Phantom*

*Tucker is leaning more to Crosby, because he thinks that he is hot!*

Danny: You cant beat me! *Goes Ghost and overshadows Crosby*

Crosby(Now being controlled by Danny):Walks away and goes back to the Mellon Arena, where the rest of the team beat him up for ditching him.*

Danny: *Comes back* That was fun.

Tucker: I just want this day to end.

Nicki: Lets start playing Guitar Hero Everybody.

Katrina: *says groggily* What is going on?

Everybody else: FINALLY, KATRINA IS BACK TO NORMAL, errrr... HER VERSION OF NORMAL!!!!

*And the day ends with everybody, but Katrina because she has a serous hangover, playing Guitar Hero!*


	3. The Trampoline Part 1

The Trampoline

Well…..It has been awhile since we've updated the adventure story. But that'll all change now with a new crac-fic. Enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: PeaceBabes does not own Twilight, or Danny Phantom.

* * *

Katrina: Come and jump on my trampoline wit meh.

Brandi: Uh, I'd rather not. *Starts Reading*

*Katrina Starts whining*

Brandi: I don't care; nothing will get me to go on the trampoline with you

Katrina: You want to bet on that? *Pulls a random remote out of nowhere* you might want to rethink that, or something bad will happen.

Brandi: *Narrows eyes dangerously* What is that?

Katrina: It is a remote that blows up your Heroin Cabinet

Brandi: AH! NO! I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST NOT THE CABINENT! PLEZE!

*Jacob Black, Emmett Cullen, and Edward Cullen enter with a mysterious sack*

Jacob: What the hell is going on here?

Katrina: I wanted to go on the trampoline, but Brandi won't go on unless I blow up her heroin cabinet

Edward: What is a young lady doing with heroin?

Brandi: *Screeches* KILL JOY!

Katrina: Yeah, you aren't welcome here in our story if you aren't gonna be fun. And BTW, what is in that sack?

*Jacob opens the sack and pulls out three bottles of clear liquid*

Emmett: We are going to have some moronic people try a shot of each bottle and see what is alcohol and what isn't.

Brandi: We'll try first.

Katrina: Oh No, she is high from her heroin. Don't let her do it.

Brandi: *rounds on Katrina* NOW U R THE KILL JOY! *Starts running around like a crazy person, with an empty thing in her hand*

Jacob: How long does this go on for usually?

Katrina: An hour, maybe two.

*Brandi gets up on the trampoline and starts jumping around*

Emmett: Well while she's high, why dont we all have fun? *Pulls out vodka bottle and shot glasses*

Katrina: Well, Hell Yeah. *Looks at Brandi on the trampoline* At least I got her on.

*Danny Phantom flies in*

Danny: Okay please tell me that Brandi isn't high.

Katrina: Uh, I couldn't do that, 'cause, she is high!

Danny: On what?

*Brandi jumps in*

Brandi: HEROIN!

*Danny slaps himself on the head*

Emmett: Yeah, so we are going to take full advantage of this.

Jacob: By getting her drunk too.

*Jacob, Katrina, and a relenting Danny pass around the bottle of Vodka and they become wasted.*

Danny: WOOOO! *Starts flying in circles*

Jacob: *Phases into his wolf body and barks like a guard dog.*

*The Vodka drink seemed not to affect Katrina*

Katrina: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DRUNK FROM THAT!

Emmett: Hey Bro, let's join in...NOW!

*Emmett also gets wasted*

* * *

Does Edward join in the fun or does he stay out like a loser? Read next time and find out.


End file.
